My Most Difficult Student
by Star Shadow and Dark Stratos
Summary: One student, one teacher, and several ways to drive said teacher insane. Brought to you by the nutcases behind Button! Button! Who's Got the Button!
1. From the Desk of Mark Adams

Star Shadow: Well, more stupidity comes from us!

Dark Stratos: We decided since we weren't getting any reviews on our serious fics that we were going back to our original calling: idiocy!

Star Shadow: Please enjoy!

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Disclaimer: Us? Owning GW? ::laughs hysterically:: PFT! We don't even own the car we illegally drive! Why would we own GW!?

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My Most Difficult Student

Prolog: From the Desk of Mark Adams

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In all my years of teaching, I have never encountered a student that is as difficult to handle as the most recent addition to my class. I didn't have as many problems with first and second graders as I have had with him. Sadly, I fear what he was like at that age. Often times I find myself wondering if he was any better behaved at that point in time.

This particular student has been slowly driving me up the wall, and I think he's enjoying it. He seemed normal enough when he was first added to my class if you ignored the braid and violet-blue eyes. Those eyes follow me during most of the class, and it's a decidedly haunting feeling. When I met him, I thought that I could get to like someone who smiled to brightly, but now I see that I was horribly mistaken.

This child is a demon in human guise. I can say this because he has given nothing but hell to me. He has done so many things to me now that I can no longer remember all of his exploits. This child goes by one seemingly innocent name: Duo Maxwell.

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Star Shadow: Don't worry. The first chapter should be coming up pretty soon. (30 to 50 mins after this is posted)

Dark Stratos: We hope that you will thoroughly enjoy our story and we encourage you to send us your ideas.

Star Shadow: And please, feel free to flame and or review!


	2. Interesting and Colorful

Star Shadow: I told you we'd have the first chapter up fast.

Dark Stratos: We're doing pretty good, huh?

Star Shadow: Well, I dun know about that…

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Disclaimer: If only we owned something of value… Oh wait! We do! Look! It's an open can of… never mind… it's empty…

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My Most Difficult Student

Chapter One: Interesting and Colorful

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Mark's eye twitched as he look at the report before him. What in God's name _was_ this!? How the hell was he even supposed to read this!? Bright multi-colored words beamed up at him from beside his cup of near empty coffee. If that wasn't bad enough, the font and print of the words changed almost every other word, the smaller sized words being more lightly colored than the rest making reading the paper near impossible.

He stared at the text for a moment trying to decipher it and wondering what he was going to do with such a horrid looking piece of writing. He couldn't even find a name on the damned thing. He took the last sip of coffee in his cup before he made a decision he would normally have gone against. He was going to ask the class and call out whatever person thought that this was funny.

He stood, clearing his throat. "Class," he said, breaking the silence that consumed the room. "Would someone please claim this paper?" He held up the brightly colored paper and received a few giggles and snickers, but he had expected that. He was now sure that the paper wouldn't be claimed, but this did set an example.

A hand shot up in the middle of the class, silencing the room. "It's mine, sir," a voice rang out. It was that new boy, Duo, if his memory served him right. Mark hoped he wasn't another 'special' kid. He hadn't meant any harm if he was. "There's nothing _wrong_ with it, is there?" he asked with a smile.

"Well," he chose hi words carefully, "I can't seem to read it."

"Really?" he asked, as if there was nothing wrong with the paper. "Are you going blind?"

The class erupted in laughter while Duo kept his clueless yet interested look. This was a horrible situation, and Duo was making it steadily worse. That poor boy. He really _was_ special.

"Duo, Why did you write your paper like this?"

"Let's see," he responded, a cherubic smile on his face as he produced a rubric, "You specifically stated here, and I quote, 'This report is meant to be interesting and colorful.' Unquote. Does my paper not meet these requirements?" He continued to smile as the class attempted to stifle the fits of laughter Duo was causing.

Adams felt horrified. He'd done this on purpose. This couldn't have been good…

"I… well…Yes," he sighed, "I suppose I did write that." That had definitely backfired.

"Then you'll have to grade it!" the boy said with a confident smile.

"Of course," Adams mumbled slowly, sitting down in his seat, He'd _planed_ this. Something told him this kid was going to be more than just a handful as some of the others in the class congratulated and began talking to him. This was going to be a _very_ long year…

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Star Shadow: Well, did ya like it?

Dark Stratos: Did ya hate it?

Star Shadow: Why don't you tell us by reading and reviewing!

Dark Stratos: And if you have any ideas on how to torture Mark Adams in the future, please tell us.

Star Shadow: We like ideas…


	3. A Horse or a Camel

Star Shadow: Hello everyone! ::dodges various objects thrown in her direction::

Dark Stratos: ::dodges just as many:: We're sorry for the slow update.

Star Shadow: ::dodges a hairdryer and it hits Stratos:: Sorry! We've been busy and school started and--

Dark Stratos: ::wraps his hands around her throat:: That HURT!!!

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Disclaimer: ::seems to be talking to a teacher:: You _may_ be able to separate us, but you can't put a distance on ADD!! ::looks over at readers:: Er… I mean… The only person in this story other than ourselves that we own is Mark Adams. Enjoy! ::goes back to arguing with teacher::

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My Most Difficult Student

Chapter Two: A Horse or a Camel

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Mark Adams smiled brightly. Nothing could ruin his day, not even his students. The reason for his happy smile was this: Duo Maxwell was absent. The class was easy to control without that mad-man doing something to cause pure chaos.

"Now class," he said with his smile firmly in place, "I would like you to turn in your history repor--"

A light 'clip-clop' sound reached his ears. It was a familiar sound, and quite a few students knew it. Snickers and giggle erupted around the room as the color and smile ran from Adams face. It couldn't be…

A small figure wrapped in a torn, dust desert cloak walked in with the hood pulled over it's face, goggles and scarf over the lower half . This wasn't what shocked him thou. What shocked him was the camel.

The camel was being led in by the reigns, overstuffed saddlebags over it's hump. It was a very odd sight to say the least, but not as weird as the fast that there were no camels on this colony, not even in the zoos.

The person began to rummage through said saddlebags, and after a few moments of searching, pulled out a few pieces of paper. With the papers firmly in hand, he began shoving the camel out of the room.

Snickers erupted from every direction, and Adams paled further. _This isn't happening,_ he repeated to himself.

Frustrated with the beast, the person spun the reigns quickly before smacking the camel's ass with them. The camel ran from the room. With that, the figure nodded, obviously happy with his success and proceeded to sit in a desk with taking off the hood and scarf.

"what did you think you were doing with that camel Mr. Maxwell?" Adams groaned, his good mood ruined.

'I don't wanna talk about it…"

Mark noted the annoyance in the boy's voice, and became all the more curious.

"Don't worry, Mr. Maxwell, we won't laugh," he said with a smile.

"I'm not talking."

"Dou, why don't you tell us?"

"it's none of your business…"

"Where did you get the camel, Duo?"

"I said I don't wanna talk about it!"

"Yes, you do!"

"That's what you think!"

"You will tell me!"

"No, I won't!"

"Tell me where you got the camel!"

"I plead the 5th!" Duo yelled, laughter erupting from the rest of the class as the comment came from his mouth.

Adams fumed. Duo was getting the better of him again. No… Duo had gotten the better of him and he knew it.

"Everyone," he sighed, "just turn in your papers…" He pointed to an empty tray on his desk as he stood behind his podium, his head on one arm.

While explaining the assignment for the day, Duo proceeded to ask what sex he was and laughed hysterically at the answer, thus causing the rest of the class to laugh. To save himself anymore embarrassment, Adams went back to his desk.

Hesitantly, he picked up the reports and blanched. Duo's paper looked up at him innocently. It looked normal and Mark almost let out a sigh of relief, but held it back hen he saw what the little demon had done.

"Duo?"

"I said I wasn't gonna tell you about the camel!" he said sounding as exasperated as he tried to get Adams to fell everyday. The class began to snicker and giggle.

"Duo, what's wrong with your paper?"

"Nothing…"

"okay…" mark said, thinking carefully about his next words. "Then what language is t in?"

"Arabic," Duo said, obviously smiling at Adams dismay.

"Why is it in Arabic?"

"Because you never said it had to be in English," duo said mater-o-factly.

The class laughed again. Duo had managed to get the better of him yet again.

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Star Shadow: ::pops up behind Stratos:: Did you enjoy this chapter?

Dark Stratos: is strangling a Star Shadow dummy:: What the…?

Star Shadow: It would be a big encouragement to reach the 25 review mark, but I have a feeling that will never happen…

Dark Stratos: ::looks back and forth between Star Shadow and the dummy:: How the…?

Star Shadow: Read and Review!!!


	4. Heavy Reading

PLEASE REVIEW EVERY CHAPTER! Thank you.

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Star Shadow: Look! We updated again!

Dark Stratos: Love us mortals! Bow down and worship us like the Go--

Star Shadow: ::gives him a funny look::

Dark Stratos: Never mind…

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Disclaimer: ::is arguing with another teacher in a flooded hall:: But _I_ wasn't the one who flushed the potassium down the toilet! I swear! He just thought tha-- ::Sees readers:: Oh… Er… Hi! We don't own anyone but ourselves and Mark Adams in this fic! We have no money, so don't sue us. It'll give you a headache. ::goes back to arguing with the teacher:: I didn't _know_ that with explosion would be _that_ big!

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My most Difficult Student

Chapter Three: Heavy Reading

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A loud beeping sound filled the class as Adams twitched. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. This could not be happening. In his opinion, the twins best voiced everyone's thoughts.

"What… the… Hell…" The two brunettes said in unison.

Mark almost forgot to scold them for their language in his shock at what Duo Maxwell was doing now.

"Star, Stratos, watch your language…"

They both glared at him and began whispering amongst themselves with a maniac gleam in their eyes. Sometimes he wondered if they were the ones giving Duo his ideas.

Duo drove the forklift through the door with expert precision , a great feat for a fifteen-year-old. His small load lay undisturbed.

"What in God's name are you doing Mr. Maxwell?" Mark groaned in a voice that said he probably wouldn't be surprised at anything the boy would say.

"I'm bringing my paper to class!" he said mater-o-factly, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"On a forklift?" Mark asked.

"It involved some heavy reading."

The class broke out into uncontrolled laughter at this. Even Mark blanched. Heavy reading!? And in the back of the class, he thought he saw a scowling Stratos hand a giggling Star a five.

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Star Shadow: We couldn't help it! We apologize!

Dark Stratos: It was fun though. You probably won't see us in any of the other chapters sans the notes.

Star shadow: Don't forget to come back and visit us! Oh! And we're not really twins.

Dark Stratos: Read and Rev--

Star Shadow: Ladies go 'BOO'!

Dark Stratos: --iew…


	5. Winter Wonderland

PLEASE REVIEW EVERY CHAPTER! Thank you.

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Star Shadow: We are the Queen and King of slow updates!

Dark Stratos: Did you miss us?

Star Shadow: Why in the name of the seventh level of the unholy hell would they do that?

Dark Stratos: Our charming personalities?

Star Shadow: ::Laughs hard:: Our charming what!?

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Disclaimer: ::glares at teacher while talking:: I told you! It's not my fault I'm late! There was this old lady tha-- ::sees readers:: Well hello there. If you have not figured out that we do not won Gundam Wing by now I shall have to crown thee with the dunce hat I found in the hall. The only person we own in this story is, you guessed it, Mark Adams. Suing will get you jack squat. ::Glares at teacher again:: Yes I do expect you to believe that I had to help an old lady get her fish down from a tree!

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My Most Difficult Student

Chapter Four: Winter Wonderland

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Mark Adams twitched… violently. The nervous tic that had been developing recently in his cheek continued to worsen and the vein above his left eye looked like it was about to pop. How the hell did he manage this!?

Inside his classroom, it was snowing. Somehow, one corner of the room had frozen over and several students had taken advantage of it and turned it into a makeshift skating rink. Most of the desks were in two piled and covered with snow to resemble forts… for the express reason to provide cover for the snowball fight. And in the midst of the madness some students had begun making snowmen and snow angels. One had gotten rather creative and made a statue of David. He was almost afraid to ask who had done that.

"Walkin' in a winter wonder land!" a horrible voice that always haunted his worst nightmares and scratched on the blackboard of his mind tried to sing. Duo was smiling up at him. How did he know?

"Duo, how…?"

"Isn't it great?"

"When…?"

"This is so the best!"

"Why?"

A snowball hit the side of his face. It was real too. Now laundry detergent as he had thought it was when he had first opened the door. It was a cold, wet snowball. The classroom went silent and Duo giggled.

"SNOWBALL FIGHT!"

The battle was short. The students were against the teacher.

When Adams awoke, he was numb. He looked down and groaned. Duo was humming and 'sculpting'. The boy was very good with proportions and, much to his surprise, seemed to make sure that things were anatomically correct. It wouldn't have been so bad --in fact, he might have laughed if it wasn't happening to him-- if he hadn't been sculpted into a snow version of Boticelli's version of Venus. When Duo saw the man awake he laughed andwalked away singing a sadistic version of jingle bells.

He was really beginning to hate that kid.

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Star Shadow: Well, that's all folks! Sorry it's so short.

Dark Stratos: Hope you enjoyed it and remember…

Star Shadow: Read and Review!!


	6. You Would Think By Now

Star Shadow: Look! We're updating at a decent interval! It's the apocalypse! Run now!

Dark Stratos: You should be scared. You really should. We're updating within a month of our last update.

Star Shadow: Short authors notes today. Woot!

Dark Stratos: Before we forget, we are **looking for Beta Readers**. Please contact us if your interested.

Star Shadow: On with the fic!

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Disclaimer: happens to be arguing with another administrator …and I tried to! I mean it! It's not _my_ fault there was a sees readers Oh! Hello there! We don't own GW if you haven't guessed by now, but we do own Mark Adams. Please ask before you use him. Also, please don't sue us. We don't have any money, and we won't for a very long time. goes back to arguing But Principal Istry! I didn't _know_ there was a virus on my computer disk! I swear! How was I supposed to know it was going to wipe out that many teachers grades!

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My Most Difficult Student

Chapter Five: You Would Think By Now…

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This was quite possibly the worst do had messed with a paper yet, even if it _was_ in English. Mark loathed the far from innocent paper on his desk. Oh how he hated it. There were just so many things he wanted to do to it; stab it with pencils, use closed scissors to rip it in two like a psychotic serial killer, put a big fat 'F' at the top of it, and last but not least he wanted to throttle it's creator while cursing the boys ancestors in language so vile and profane that the gods of Norse mythology would roll over in their graves… Supposing they had any that was… Also, he wanted nothing more than to break down and cry like a small child.

Why? Why did he have to teach this boy, this demon, this horridly corrupt child? Why wasn't life fair?

"Duo?" he asked, voice cracking as he massaged his temples. He looked at the doodles in the margins of the paper in his hands. Most of them were crude caricatures of himself in lewd positions.

"Yes, Mr. Adams?" the boy asked, trying to look innocent. It worked pretty well with that cherubic face. It was only too bad that Adams knew Duo better.

Mark resisted the sudden urge to gouge the teens eyes out. "There are holes in you paper," he said, holding up a page for emphasis.

"Yep!" the boy said with an impish grin as several people snickered and giggles as the ransom note style paper. It hadn't been easy finding some of the words he had needed, but the result had been more than worth it. After all, the words Captain James T. Kirk, Hamlet, Jean-Luc Picard, and King Lear didn't come up very often in magazines. Mark really shouldn't have made them write a paper over a Shakespearian play of their choice. Who would have known that Duo could make Worf out to be Ophelia?

Realizing he was going to get no other response from the teen terror, Adams asked the dreaded question. "Why?"

Duo put on a frightened face, as if he was scared for life. "I was attacked by a murder of man-eating crows on my way to class this morning. They wanted my finger and toe nails. I'll have you know that hiding behind my paper was my very last resort." Adams nearly choked on the story. His students, however, laughed.

Mark sighed. "Fine, fine…" he went back to the paper feeling a headache coming on. He knew he should have told his students to type the paper. He knew he should have. Mark twitched and giggles enveloped the class.

"Duo?" he asked, looking at the seven page long essay. He knew that this had been a bit too long for the demons taste.

"Yes?"

"Is this a recipe for chocolate cake?"

More giggles and muffled laughter could be heard.

"I was wondering where I put that…" Duo said thoughtfully, as if he had no idea how it had gotten there despite the fact that it looked almost identical to the rest of the paper. The class broke out in laughter. Mark went back to work.

Despite the ransom-style, 'crow pecked', doodled on and chocolate cake infested paper (he'd checked the recipe just incase there was some slim chance in taking points from the boys grade), there was nothing wrong with it. He actually did some research on his topic and it became just a frighteningly interesting as his multi-colored paper on the industrial revolution of the United States. He actually began to wonder if the boy was a deranged genius or some sort of super soldier with the way he kept coming up with things like this paper. He still hadn't figured out how he had gotten it to snow.

Mark didn't twitch again until he got to the end of the paper, catching the attention of his class. After all, it _had_ been nearly twenty minutes since the last time he had done so and he was reading _Duo's_ paper. Duo smiled at this.

"Very funny, Mr. Maxwell."

"What's very funny?" Duo asked, mentally counting down.

"'This paper will self-destruct in-"

Duo clicked a remote which he had hidden in his pocket. The last page of his paper exploded.

"-ten… seconds…" Adams coughed, face covered in black. Even his normal hair was now black and singed around his face. He was totally and completely shocked.

The class simultaneously broke out into uncontrolled laughter, and Duo gave himself a mental pat on the back. He'd been waiting for this for quite some time now, and he wasn't gong to blow his chance of screwing with the teacher's mind.

"Are you alright, Mr. Adams?" he asked with a worried tone. "You're not hurt, are you?"

"J-just go back to you seat Duo."

Why? Why did his life have to be a living hell? Why couldn't he get normal students? Why was _he_ stuck with this maniac? Why hadn't he just taken the job as a forensic scientist?

Mark did the only thing that felt right: He his his head on his desk. Why couldn't life be fair? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? WHY?

Duo snickered. Boy was this guy fun to mess with. Adams would have to go though years of therapy before Duo finished playing with him.

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Star Shadow: Please tell us what you think!

Dark Stratos: Please read and review. Remember we are **looking for Beta Readers**.

Star Shadow: See you soon!


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